


Supply and Demand

by SapphireMusings



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23354179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireMusings/pseuds/SapphireMusings
Summary: McKay isn’t dealing well with a supply shortage.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Supply and Demand

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. A new fic from me. Been a while since that happened. I’m a bit rusty but just wanted to write a little something to hopefully bring a smile to people while we all deal with COVID-19. I hope this helps.

“How does someone forget to requisition toilet paper?” complained McKay. “It’s not like we can run to the store and pick some up. Seriously, what nincompoop forgot to order toilet paper?”

“That would be the one the wraith ate last month.” Sheppard’s voice had gone quiet.

“Oh.” McKay grimaced. “Sorry.”

They continued down the corridor toward the mess hall. It didn’t take long before McKay started revving up again.

“They managed to remember the, you know, stuff for the women, but they can’t remember toilet paper?”

“I wouldn’t go there, McKay. Especially around Elizabeth and Cadman.”

They entered the mess, grabbed some lunch and joined Ronon at his table.

“I suppose I’m going to have to give up all my chocolate just to get some toilet paper until the supply run next month,” McKay grumbled.

“McKay, give it a rest.” Sheppard was starting to sound irritated.

“You’ve got a stash of toilet paper, don’t you?” McKay accused.

Sheppard took a big bite of his sandwich to avoid answering.

“Sheppard! I’ll have you know I have chronic soft stools; I need toilet paper.”

Sheppard just avoided spitting out his food. “Jesus, McKay. TMI. And I’m trying to eat here.”

“Well?”

Ronon joined the conversation. “What’s this toilet paper everyone is getting all crazy about? It’s all over the message boards for trade.”

“See?” Rodney pointed his fork at Sheppard in an ‘I told you so’ manner. “Wait minute.” Rodney turned to Ronon. “How can you not know what toilet paper is? The quartermaster gives you some every month.”

Ronon shrugged. “He gives me lots of stuff that I have no idea what it’s for.”

“Thin, white tissue-like paper on a roll about so big.” Sheppard held his hands a few inches apart. “You use it when you use the toilet to, you know, wipe?”

“Huh.” Ronon looked surprised.

“What have you been using to, you know?” asked an incredulous McKay.

“Kinda personal, McKay,” Ronon said.

“But you haven’t been using your supply of toilet paper . . .”

Ronon shook his head.

“So you must have a large supply of it . . .”

“Seems to have become a hot commodity. What have you got for trade?”

McKay sighed. Sheppard snickered.

“Chocolate?”

Ronon shook his head. “Don’t need it.”

“Porn magazines?”

“You have porn magazines?” Now Sheppard looked interested.

McKay looked cagey. “I might know someone who does.”

“What’s a porn magazine?” asked Ronon.

McKay’s mouth opened and closed without a sound emitting.

“Wow. Speechless McKay,” observed Sheppard. “Do you think you can do that do him on command?” he asked Ronon.

Ronon grinned.

“So, what’s a porn magazine?”

“I’ll explain later,” Sheppard said.

“Can we get back on track here? I need toilet paper!” Rodney hissed. “What do you want for some toilet paper,” he demanded.

Ronon, being food-motivated, said, “Cheetos.”

“Cheetos?” Rodney repeated in disbelief. “You don’t know what toilet paper and porn is but you know Cheetos?”

Ronon shrugged, saying nothing.

Rodney slumped. “Let me see what I can work out,” he said, wondering who had Cheetos. “I don’t suppose you’d float me a loan.”

Ronon’s brows raised.

“Yeah, thought so,” replied a defeated McKay. Then he perked back up. “I could just break the security code on your quarters and take some.”

“Like to see you try.” Ronon grinned at him.

Sheppard, standing, shook his head. “I bet O’Neill never had to deal with this sort of thing.”

“Probably not,” agreed McKay. “Although, I heard one time he threw a huge fit over an order P-90’s that arrived without firing pins.”

McKay took note of Sheppard’s appalled expression. “Oh, that gets you upset but not the lack of toilet paper? Figures.”

“You don’t mess with a man and his weapons, McKay.”

McKay rolled his eyes.

Sheppard shrugged. Picking up his tray, he said, “I’ll see you later.” Ronon joined him, leaving McKay alone at the table with his toilet paper schemes.

“You have toilet paper, don’t you?” Ronon said.

Sheppard grinned. “I left a couple of rolls in McKay’s quarters this morning.”

**SGA**


End file.
